The Day Both Cried

The Man

A strong breeze plucked the leaves from the branches, and they landed, swinging in the air, in front of me and over my head. I unbuttoned my blazer, crouched, picked one and twisted it around its spine. It was late in the night, late enough for people working overtime to be back at their homes, with their wives and husbands and daughters and dogs. I had always wanted to own a pet, a dog preferably, but because of my working hours, I couldn’t afford one. It was then that I saw one, lost in its thought and indifference, across the street. I had to pet him and feed him the two cookies I always carried on the walk back from work. So I stood up, flicked away the leaf, and moved forward to cross the street.

…

The Other Man

One of the indispensable elements of youth is carelessness. If you are not careless, if you do not make grave mistakes, you are not young. And I was young. However, what I did not realise was it was good to be careless unless your carelessness did not adversely impact any other being.

• I mean, of course, you cannot choose to be careless on an Operating Table. Right?

She entered my life at a point when I was facing a drought of women. So I had to hit on her. And I was in my early twenties. So I did. And along with her, she tried to bring sense into my life which I hated. The Operating Table example – she had said. In fact, all the sensible sentences you, dear reader, would read would have been constructed by her in letters or sound.

• I like you. (See. This non-sensical statement – That’s me.)
• That’s sweet and I would have loved to be with you but I already am dating someone. (That’s her)

I couldn’t face the rejection. I kept on pursuing her. After six months, on the first day of my job

• Do you want to catch up for dinner? (Yup. Still me.)
• Sure. (Wait, what?)

Dinner at a fancy restaurant. I paid. Back at my place. Compatibility issues with boyfriend. Boyfriend had gone on a 10-days work trip to Singapore. She left in the morning.

Do you see why parents warn you against wrong company? She brought the senses – I took them, wrapped them in an old, stained newspaper, and drained them down the toilet. It was just me and her and, well, her boyfriend in Singapore.

Three months later, it was me and her and her boyfriend in the same city. Unaware. Totally.

• I will never break up with him.
• Why?
• I love him.
• So why do you go out with me?
• It’s not that I am married or something. And I don’t know what he is upto on his trips. And what if in the future, he sleeps with other women? I should then have no regret.
• So I am a deposit for your No-regret bank account which you may or may not choose to withdraw?
• Yes.
• Works for me.

What was not working was the whole thing that was happening behind the back of this other man – this boyfriend.

…

The Man

I never heard the horn. Just a loud, momentary thud and the screeching of wheels. The whole body pained for a while and then, suddenly, everything was weight-less, pleasant. It felt like the sleep you get after fifteen hours of workday, only that I was awake to feel it. I smiled. I immediately wanted to express myself to her, not to delay it even by a second, lest I should deprive her from experiencing my joy.

• I love you.
• I love you, too.

And I was there by her bed, while she watched a TV series on her computer. I called out her name but she didn’t respond. I reached out to her but she didn’t feel the touch. It was as if for her, I didn’t exist. I was upset. So, I walked up to the window, leapt out of it and was carried away by the wind.

…

The Other Man

• Let’s not go out today. (She)
• And make out at your place? (I)
• Yes. And catch up on House.
• Which season, which episode are you in?
• I am in the third season, sixth episode.
• Well I am two ahead of you. Finish them before I come. See you tonight.
• See you. And bring some wine.

I never liked wine. But the prospect of a tipsy, cute girl by my side in the wake of the night was astounding as fuck. So, after work, I drove to her place and on the way, went to the shop to get a bottle of wine, and to fill up my craving for a real drink got myself two cans of beer.

Had them in the parking lot.

• I am on my way.
• Come soon.
• Well, on that front, I would try not to when I am there. (She chuckled)

Something hard and heavy struck my car, and in a split of second, ran over it. The last visual I remember was of my car against a big dark tree and blood all over my hand.

…

The Girl

I could not have kept on going like I was. I had to break up with him. I did not even remember when was the last time I genuinely felt a romantic emotion towards him. In the matters of mind, he was top notch but in the matters of heart, he had been a failure.

Now with him, I felt complete. He was all I could have ever wanted in my partner. It would be in the best of everyone’s interests that I moved on with him, leaving behind what was incompatible.

These thoughts, the guilt of betraying him – they always induced a strong headache. I took a Disprin and resumed watching House.

The phone rang. It was him. He better not be late.

• Madam. Please come soon. There has been an accident. Your no. was the last he dialled.

…

The Man

The wind carried me to places I had never been to. I went down a sewer and inside a winery. She loved wine. I got upset because back there in her room – It was as if for her, I didn’t exist. So, I came out of the winery and entered the underwater caves. I cried, sitting inside the cave, amidst the fishes and sea-water and darkness.

…

The Girl

I remember I had rushed to his damaged car,through the sea of people to find him on the driver’s seat, breathing, soaked in blood, and unconscious. There were two Ambulances, waiting. It was then that I realized there was another person involved who had died, instantly. I felt nauseated, seeing the blood and pieces of flesh lying on the road.

• Who was the other person?

Two days later, when the news came, I remembered, amongst the flesh and blood, the crumbs of cookies. That particular day onwards, I stopped living.

…

The Man

It was as if for her, I didn’t exist.